I’ve been sitting with the weight of a heart.⠀
⠀
I’ve been sitting with these stories
that families get passed down.⠀
⠀
I’ve been sitting with the
weight of the damage
that causes fear.⠀
⠀
I’ve been talking about the totalizing,
that bliss point
that surfers constantly
strive for.⠀
⠀
On occasion,
I feel the bliss point.⠀
⠀
It’s like that old cliché
if you’re religious,
and the light of God shines upon you,
and the angelic choir sings right.⠀
⠀
And despite the volumes of data
that I capture
every moment to every moment,
I cannot find
the the factors that align,
that cause my flashes of bliss Point.⠀
⠀
Talked about it yesterday,
totalizing.⠀
⠀
Talked about the three components of identity,
the spirit or soul,
the mind,
the body.⠀
⠀
Many people define themselves heavily
using one
maybe two.⠀
⠀
I believe in all three.
I believe they’re intertwined.
I believe that it is a totality,
a combination,
a an integration,⠀
⠀
in those moments
where I can experience all three
of those parts of identity
all at one
time,
and take a moment
to wonder at it.⠀
⠀
I feel the bliss point
when I remove the thoughts that spin
and instead
turn my mind
to the awareness
of the three parts of identity,⠀
⠀
and when each of those things
is all focusing
on the miracle
of the ability
for those three things
to all focus together,
all at one point.⠀
⠀
I think it might be
the actual moment
of the realization of that
that causes the bliss point.⠀
⠀
It’s like the thing
being aware of itself.⠀
⠀
The awakening.⠀
⠀
Maybe it’s the awakening point
of the totality of a person,
that moment of realization
of the three parts
working together
that brings a moment of divinity
to that being,⠀
⠀
and they realize
that the perfect balance
has been struck,
right?⠀
⠀
Yesterday, I talked about
what I have done
historically
through my life,⠀
⠀
because I do believe
that a being is all three,
all integrated,⠀
⠀
and there are times
throughout my life
that I have spent
a lot of the reasoning
and discerning
part of me
to help my body learn
how to do something
to the best
degree that I could.⠀
⠀
Historically through my life,
there have been very few things
I haven’t been able to do,
and those also include
some intricate physical things,
but my mind
has to understand
how my body needs to be positioned
and the ways that it has to move
in order to be able
to do those things
the way that I have seen
other people do them.⠀
⠀
And there is a very zen peace
that exists in the doing of that,
because there is so much focus
on combining
what your mind logically knows
that your body has to do
in order to make this thing happen,⠀
⠀
and the being
in the totality of that moment
is what brings the bliss point
at that point in Time,⠀
⠀
and maybe
for that moment,
you are being
in likeness
to the thing
that you have seen
someone else do.⠀
⠀
Not that you become them
by any means,⠀
⠀
but the three parts
of your identity
are tuning in
to the resonance
of that moment.⠀
⠀
I’ve been spending
a lot of time
weighing hearts,
weighing experiences,
keeping myself
away from the fray
so that I can see
more clearly,
because what I need
is clarity.⠀
⠀
I
can see beauty,
where some may only see
wreckage.⠀
⠀
But I will name
wreckage
when others try
to ignore it,⠀
⠀
because I see
no flaw
in it.⠀
⠀
Both the beauty
and the wreckage
are
are exquisitely
divine.⠀
⠀
Song: “Wreckage” by Amy Bezunartea”⠀
And I see you as all three too...someday that feels like a blessing...somedays not
The Totality.
Check out this video:
https://youtu.be/f1awJHUV4mE?si=TY4V2XX9tPohF7mh
I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds when the song came on and this whole thing spilled out.